No me gusta.
Why is being single feel so cutthroat?
I have not had a significant other for over 2 and a half years. I’m okay really. I feel like i’ve survived past that desperation point and I kinda like being by myself and that is all I know and relationships completely freak me out because it’s been SO long. Sure there has been a fair bit of grey area this past year, but I can ultimately say I am a table for one or a girl flying solo, whatever.
Then a night like tonight happens.
I am with friend celebrating her birthday and I step out for a few minutes (because I can and am independent or whatever). I get a water and hangout beside the dance floor. This is when a fellow twenty-something approaches me and starts talking to me. We dance for a bit and end up liking/singing along to the same songs. This is pretty cool considering the music was mostly shit.
This leads to me dancing with him and being completely aware that everyone I came with was gone. This seems okay to me because I live two blocks away from the bar that I am at, so I stay and end up getting water and talking to him about real stuff.
I feel honest and cute. I talk about being an English major (which he is too), liking sci-fi books (but knowing I need to dig deeper), and growing up on the same 80s music.
If anything all this common ground surely deserved an acknowledgement from him. I mean that sort of stuff doesn’t happen all the time does it? Really i’m asking because I don’t know. I live in my single-person bubble and leave it that way 95% of the time. I thought he’d ask for my number, especially when he seemed so interested that I listen to one specific song about an artist we’d discussed for a while. I thought he’d want an update, to see if I liked it after all.
I’m okay really. I don’t feel a great loss because someone did not ask me for my number, especially when most (all) times i’ve given it out no one has called me to hangout. I guess I just feel so confused about the dating/single life.
I thought we “hit it off”, and I’m pretty sure he said he was attracted to me, but the last conversation ended so flatly and I turned to walk those two blocks home alone almost completely unfazed by the rejection I faced. Was it even rejection?
Human connections are so misleading and exhausting, I often avoid things like going out dancing because meeting people always feels like an annoying side effect. Meeting people is supposed to be healthy and if you can carry a conversation we’ve all socially accepted this as a good thing. For me though it only causes anxieties and I just feel more alone and want to cocoon back in my apartment… which is what I did when I got home last night and am still doing now. Feels good.
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doug said:
Maybe he wasn’t the kind to feel comfortable in asking? (I don’t know.) Either way, yes, that sort of stuff doesn’t happen all the time, and his curiosity should reasonably have compelled him to continue it.
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itcatchesmyheart posted this